魏永勇呼吸菲林

The documentary principal shoot is finished on the 18th May. The rest of the crews have returned to where they should belong. And I am still at where I should belong. I am working on the translation of the interviews…which takes painstakingly long…12 hours of work can only get 40mins interview translated…it’s a long road…but at least I can still spend more time in Bario…so less complaints…

The weather in Bario has dropped considerably…heavy fogs in morning and night…very diffused and beautiful. A good time to see fogs and mists in Bario. My mommy has left to Miri, pursing her unknown future with a man she thinks is the man for her. As long as she’s happy, I am happy.

Sometimes…I will think of someone here. Someone special. Wish she can be here with me. Not that I am lonely but…always miss her first whenever I see any beautiful or interesting things here.

Being eating lots of carbo food. Need to lose some weight before I go KL.

Wish I can blog more often.

Did anyone miss me yet?

We are still shooting the “WEIGHT OF SALT” documentary in Bario. Today is rest day for the crews after an exhausting two days shooting in the hilly jungle terrains. The weather was very kind, no rain thus spared by the infamous and almost inevitable leeches attack. Only Zaafa the sound man got a bite but the Assistant Director Jasminatha had a real haunting experience when leeches kept sticking and wriggling on her shoes.

Overall the production is smooth and on schedule, although I think slightly over budget due to some unexpected costs and hidden charges, which no producers appreciate I reckoned. The Kelabits are gentle and humble, one or two however, is leeching for money!

We will wrap on the 18th May while I will stay back in Bario for the offline post production. Then I should be heading straight to KL for the online and finishing.

Tomorrow is the reveal of HBF. Anxious anxious. Wish me luck!

我一直认为我这辈子都学不会

你说我手脚不灵活，又太胖

我的自信和野心

被你的保护网，给窒息了

当年为了学骑机车，记得还和你大吵一场

最后闹得我决定离开诗巫

从此我再也没有任何想学机车的念头

我其实都耿耿于怀

也该说，我一直都怪着你

一直到四天前

我为了这个新妈咪，在这片土地，从新学起

刚刚坐在上机车，十多年前的恐惧，原来还没消失

可是妈咪对我说，你一定学得会

这句话，复活了我的自信和野性

这句话，当年你没说

就差这句话

十多年来的不可能

原来在短短的在四天里

就被瓦解了

今天我一个人骑着机车

到巴里欧的机场里练习

整个跑道只属于我和我的机车

来一场与速度结合的撒野

风和速度的声音

我听到了

风和速度的感觉

很爽

我希望有天能载着你

在美丽的巴里欧兜兜风

An evening with my Kelabit mommy. We cooked together for the first time. The meal was simple and delicious. It was raining heavily outside but my heart was warmth inside.

After the meal, I massaged her. Something that I always love to do on my love ones.She was so pleased to have a son who knows massage.

And then we began to chat about the past and all. To understand each other more. After all, we are still a rather unknown entity to both. But it doesn’t stop the impulsive bond between us.

I may need a life time to know who she is. But I only need a moment to decide…I want to be her son.

When you allow this kind of things to happen, life becomes…beautiful.

The young man in black T-shirt with a cap is Ghia.

When I first saw him five years ago, I saw something in him instinctively that I knew instantly I wanted him to play a role in my film “Children of the Wind”.

And when I saw him again five years later, he was no longer a boy. He’s almost a grown man, taller than I am, well-built and all. A young man of not many words just as when he was young.

I am so happy to see him again. He hardly recognized me. Not that I am surprised. But it is so good to see him again.

One down, two to go. I am searching for Mariam and Apui, my another two child actors.

Ghia…thank you.

This is JK View Homestay. This is my new house in Bario. Whenever you find me in Bario, you will find me here. I will come back more often and see what can I do in Bario besides filmmaking. I am thinking to dedicate 3 months of every year to come back here to run this lodging house with my mommy, guiding the tourist to see my version of Bario, share my experience and stories with them…and maybe make them fall in love to Bario just as I did…

And perhaps who knows…I might really get married with a local girl and starts farming and all. Filmmaking has always and will be a big part of my life. But I shall never say no to Bario. This place is special. It makes me feel even more special. A good feeling indeed.

I always complained that I belong to nowhere.

Now…I have a place in Bario.

I feel belong here.

“Who are you, why everyone knows you?”

That was her first question when we bumped to each other on the evening of 23 March 2009, in front of her house.

I explained my long-story-cut-short that I used to make a film here in Bario. But her next reply shocked me.

“I know, my father was one of your actors!”

If fate is at play, this is a coincidence of such beauty. My old actor Tamabuk Ribuh Balang turned out to be his father.

“And my son actually took a picture together with you!”

This, I totally, didn’t expect. I have no recollection of his son, furthermore taken a photo together. But she insisted me and my friend to go in to her house for a drink as she tried to retrieve the picture she claimed.

The tea was nice. The last minute wild-boar floss rice was excellence. The atmosphere was lightened up brilliantly when she suggested to find me a wife. Not that I don’t want to get married…and I have no problem with match-making, but how can she be so sure of who am I and what kind of girl I am suitable for? She hardly knew me, as I justified to myself.

But nothing could ever prepared me for the next thing she was about to say.

“David, do you want to become my son?”

“Are you sure? You hardly know me?”

“I want to have a son like you.”

I nod my head, without knowing what I was doing. My logic system failed to function. I didn’t know what was I doing…but I know…I want to be the son of this Kelabit woman.

And I broke into tears. And she hugged me. I was hugged by my new mommy. I felt safe. And thus, I cried even more.

I have promised to return soon for the ceremony. To officially to become her adopted son. And to receive a Kelabit name of her choice.

Strange. I have always called Bario my home. But I know, it’s only my wish. I don’t belong there.

Now…I am a part of Bario and a son of Kelabit.

Bario has now truly became…my home.

Rose Tagung Aran is her name. A mother that I always wanted.

This trip to Bario has certainly calmed me down.

My restlessness has put to rest.

I always believe that nature heals all wounds. Especially those hidden slightly too deep to be reached or even realised.

I found peace, love and acceptance with abundance.

Kelabits are special. Bario is special.

They make you feel special too.

I am not special. But feeling special…is special on its own.

Bario

After five long years, once again I have returned to Bario…this place that I always called Home. I was so afraid that no one would still recognize me…that to them I am just one of those many tourists. But my heart was at peace when many people at the Pasar started to greet me warmly. To their amaze perhaps is how much weight I have lost. To my amaze obviously, how they still remember my name.

Bario remembers me.

I am not the same me who first explored this land many years ago. My return to Bario marked an important chapter in my life. A circle has been completed. I have returned to this place where I first started everything. Bario is a mirror. A checkpoint. To see where I was, where I am now and where I want to be in the future.

You don’t forget about a place like Bario. Like everyone here says…those who has visited Bario will always return.

Caused…Bario always remembers you.

It grows in you.

It stays in you.