魏永勇呼吸菲林

“Who are you, why everyone knows you?”

That was her first question when we bumped to each other on the evening of 23 March 2009, in front of her house.

I explained my long-story-cut-short that I used to make a film here in Bario. But her next reply shocked me.

“I know, my father was one of your actors!”

If fate is at play, this is a coincidence of such beauty. My old actor Tamabuk Ribuh Balang turned out to be his father.

“And my son actually took a picture together with you!”

This, I totally, didn’t expect. I have no recollection of his son, furthermore taken a photo together. But she insisted me and my friend to go in to her house for a drink as she tried to retrieve the picture she claimed.

The tea was nice. The last minute wild-boar floss rice was excellence. The atmosphere was lightened up brilliantly when she suggested to find me a wife. Not that I don’t want to get married…and I have no problem with match-making, but how can she be so sure of who am I and what kind of girl I am suitable for? She hardly knew me, as I justified to myself.

But nothing could ever prepared me for the next thing she was about to say.

“David, do you want to become my son?”

“Are you sure? You hardly know me?”

“I want to have a son like you.”

I nod my head, without knowing what I was doing. My logic system failed to function. I didn’t know what was I doing…but I know…I want to be the son of this Kelabit woman.

And I broke into tears. And she hugged me. I was hugged by my new mommy. I felt safe. And thus, I cried even more.

I have promised to return soon for the ceremony. To officially to become her adopted son. And to receive a Kelabit name of her choice.

Strange. I have always called Bario my home. But I know, it’s only my wish. I don’t belong there.

Now…I am a part of Bario and a son of Kelabit.

Bario has now truly became…my home.

Rose Tagung Aran is her name. A mother that I always wanted.

This trip to Bario has certainly calmed me down.

My restlessness has put to rest.

I always believe that nature heals all wounds. Especially those hidden slightly too deep to be reached or even realised.

I found peace, love and acceptance with abundance.

Kelabits are special. Bario is special.

They make you feel special too.

I am not special. But feeling special…is special on its own.

Bario

After five long years, once again I have returned to Bario…this place that I always called Home. I was so afraid that no one would still recognize me…that to them I am just one of those many tourists. But my heart was at peace when many people at the Pasar started to greet me warmly. To their amaze perhaps is how much weight I have lost. To my amaze obviously, how they still remember my name.

Bario remembers me.

I am not the same me who first explored this land many years ago. My return to Bario marked an important chapter in my life. A circle has been completed. I have returned to this place where I first started everything. Bario is a mirror. A checkpoint. To see where I was, where I am now and where I want to be in the future.

You don’t forget about a place like Bario. Like everyone here says…those who has visited Bario will always return.

Caused…Bario always remembers you.

It grows in you.

It stays in you.